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The ticking of the office clock,
Sat in marriage guidance,
On the sofa I'm taking stock,
Whilst savouring the silence.

Who's first ? .. Invites the shrink,
The poet starts up, I think,
It's all going fine,
I'm trying to tow the line,
Before the Muse and I run out of time,
Ok, Ive taken her for granted,
Where once I was enchanted,
But let's just leave things be.

What about me !
Intrudes the Muse,
Shall I tell you my views ?
Yes, I say (bit late now to refuse),
I'll start with points 1 to 3.

Firstly, his problem with authority,
His aversion to conform
Did he have a childhood deformity
Or was he humiliated to perform,
Someone has to be the head,
Don't make them pay because you wet the bed,
Try to be antagonistic 'light',
Stop looking for the fight,
Its never to late to acquire.

Insight ! says the Muse,
Point two is torture,
His mistrust is out of order,
Too cynical to work for Rentokill,
Why cultivate a personality disorder,
Persecution complex or litigious paranoia,
I'm a lyric Muse not a prosecution lawyer.

Third please !
Your unease and miserable,
Makes you seem so unwell,
Everyone can tell, just look,
Your poems are painfully self referential,
You may have a minor bent,
For penning malcontent,
But no real potential.

You see Im weary of your jaundiced views,
Get the message says the Muse,
You've used and abused my mythic grace,
With mid - life melancholy blues,
So up the pace, make amends,
We could still be friends and get back on track,
Why not get those quirky love poems back ?

Anyhow make up your mind,
We're running out of time,
But remember ! If I go,
I get custody of the rhymes,
With no obligation,
And before you ask my eight sisters are already taken !

Approaching my half century,
The ticking of the office clock,
Sitting on the sofa,
Standing in the dock,
Half - poem half documentary,
I'm taking stock.

It's just a phase I say,
The quiet anguish in turning grey,
Vigour and life ebbing away,
You can't feel that dread,
And have sonnets in your head,
So Muse for now have one last look,
Take your rhyme and sling your hook ...